The Cast Of Characters- Part 1

Most of the people who will be reading my ramblings are familiar with me, my family, and the shenanigans we find ourselves in. But, for anyone who is new to my circle of chaos, I would like to introduce you to the players in my circus of life.

Brady is my first-born son. He is 12, a 7th grader, football player, baseball player, drummer, comedian, and all around generally likeable kid. He is NOT perfect. (I am not one of those parents who thinks the sun rises out of her kid’s ass) He makes me laugh, cry, scream, giggle, roll my eyes, and clap my hands. He is a smart-ass of caliber proportions, and a prankster who should have his own MTV show. His way of talking and expressing things can make you believe anything. ANYTHING. So much that we sometimes have the argument of what is “funny” and what is “cruel” when joking. He really doesn’t mean things harshly, because he is just a happy, comfortable-in-his-own-skin kind of kid. He has no shame. If he feels like dancing and singing down the aisle at WalMart, he will bust into the Moonwalk and serenade the shoppers with his rendition of “Smooth Criminal”- regardless of what anyone thinks. Actually, he’s a Ham, and prefers to be the center of attention. And he’s good at it. He has natural quick wit, and says the funniest shit. On purpose. To get a response. And it works.

Ironically, when he was born, Brady was the colicky-cry-all-the-time-make-mama-scream-with-frustration baby. He needed attention, even then. He fussed constantly, never slept, took a month to get the hang of breastfeeding, and generally made me lose all hope that I would ever be able to shower in under 2 hours. Now, he’s the easy kid. He’s tough, determined, and can think quick on his feet to take care of himself. Oh, don’t misunderstand- he will play me like a fiddle to get something he wants- but when faced with personal challenges, he can do just fine on his own. Things come easy to Brady. He’s good at whatever he tries (not the best) but he knows how to make things work for his benefit, and will pursue with his whole heart the things he enjoys. He’s a joy to be around, 85% of the time.

And, now, Ladies and Gents- let me introduce you to Reese. Reese is 11, in 6th grade and MUCH different from his brother. Oh, yes, he’s a football player, member of the State Finalist baseball team and sports guy, too- but anymore, that’s about where the similarities end. My boy Reese is emotional. (LOL-looking at that tiny sentence seems like such an understatement to me. I literally just chuckled when I re-read that.) Reese loves hard, plays hard, gets mad hard, laughs hard, cries hard, throws things VERY hard, and hugs hard. Reese is not an “alphabet soup” kid (a bunch of medical diagnosis letters i.e. ADD, PD, etc…) but he does have slight anger and emotional issues. He has made leaps and bounds with this over the past year, though, and if I cross my fingers and knock on wood, I think we MAY be past to worst of it. Reese has a HUGE heart. He can be so loving, considerate, thoughtful and caring.  He is very fierce and protective of his emotions. He can put up a wall faster than Forrest Gump can run. When he hurts, he hurts deep and long.

So imagine my little man-child Reese, getting frustrated over homework (meltdown), getting bored and whiny (major meltdown), and thinking that ANYTHING his brother does or gets is unfair (nuclear meltdown). It’s totally extreme with Reese. When it’s good, it’s wonderful. We cook together, play computer together, watch movies together, laugh and hug and kiss. (At home, in private, where his friends can’t see). When it’s bad, it’s B.A.D.  We yell, we say hurtful things, we throw stuff, we cry, we get angry and we both need time-outs. That’s the one way Reese deals with hard shit. He throws up that wall, and needs time to himself. Which is fine. Because I need one too, sometimes. This kid makes my heart full. Such strong emotions for this whirlwind of a person. Amazing.

So- those are obviously the 2 main characters in my life. And when I say characters, I mean CHARACTERS.  Future posts will feature these 2 prominently, so here is your background info on my Knucklehead and Chucklehead- used interchangeably. More on the rest of the players soon.

That is all for now.

First blog-Let’s give this a whirl, shall we???

Ok. I will admit I am a little intimidated. There are waaaay too many tools on the side of my screen. I just simply want to put words down. I am not ignorant, nor unintelligent. I just prefer simple. Simple is good. Simple is routine. Simple is easy.

I feel that this first blog should be a disclaimer. I have diarrhea of the fingers. I type frantically (and usually horribly), attempting to get all the thoughts in my head out. They crowd me. My head is usually full of nonsense. There are too many ideas bumping around.   I have to get them out. However, I like to think that I am careful when it comes to SPEAKING my thoughts. I try to be honest and forthright so there is no misunderstanding my thought processes. Sometimes, I am honest and blunt to a fault, but not to be mean, disrespectful or hateful or hurtful with my speaking words. Verbal communication is a dangerous thing, my friends. In the heat of an emotional moment, words can be let loose with fury and vengance-some of which can NEVER be taken back. But with writing, the author can proofread and self-censor and contemplate and overthink and totally change her original thoughts into something completely different. I am going to find that balance here, Dear Readers. I will say what’s on my mind, with a certain degree of respect, but I refuse to apologize for my feelings and thoughts. If you think for one second that your feelings may be hurt, or offended when I drop an F-bomb (because I can swear like a drunken sailor)- then you need to STOP reading right now. Seriously. This is MINE. My thoughts. My feelings. I can deal with constructive criticism, feedback and am completely open to different points of view. But do it with respect and I will do the same.

I truly believe that our modern society does not think about the power of spoken words. There are certain groups that certainly OVERTHINK verbal communication (politicians, televangelists, everyone in infomercials)- but the majority of people, and I certainly include myself in this, don’t have a clue how an offhand comment can affect a person. Both in good and negative ways.

I’m in my bathroom, primping for a night out with the girls, and my then 4 year old son is watching me intently. I’m spraying, powdering, buffing, shaving, lotioning, curling, and blotting for all I am worth. I look GOOD, dammit. I’m feeling good. I’m gonna go out, dance until my feet hurt, throw back some adult beverages, flirt with some people, just have a fun grown up night. I’m all finished, looking in the mirror for the final review before leaving my boys, and Brady (the then 4 year old) says, “Mommy! You don’t look fat tonight!”. He says this with his beautiful smile, and sparkles in his eyes. I KNOW that is his little mind he thinks “Mommy looks pretty!!!”- but his words give the compliment (?) a whole different twist. I vividly remember standing there, stunned for a moment, and looking down from killer heels into his little shining face. My heart KNEW what he meant. He’s 4. He’s a boy. He’s always going to have trouble expressing his thoughts, because, let’s face it, he’s a male human child. I bent over, kissed his little face and told him “Thank YOU!!!”.

The point I am trying to make with this- and I do have one- is that unless you are a 4 year old boy child, STOP and think what your words can do. I’m not going to point out any examples of this in grown up life, because each and every person on the planet has experience with this concept. Whether it was you who spoke before thinking, or if you were the recipient of someone’s diarrhea of the mouth- just take 2 seconds to think.

That is all for now.