I Had A Girl……Donna Was Her Name.

My inspiration to start a blog stemmed from reading several other blogs on a regular basis. My two main influences were Moms Who Drink and Swear and Mary Tyler Mom. Two strong women, full of piss and vinegar, not afraid to air their frustrations, loves, silliness and reconciliation that comes with being a Mom. They inspire me, reassure me, and influence me in more ways than just words on paper. Mind you, I don’t know these women personally, but the insight they allow their readers into their personal lives makes me feel like they are long-lost sisters of mine.

Mary Tyler Mom (MTM) recently shared something VERY personal with her lucky readers. MTM’s 4 year old daughter, Donna, passed from this earth from cancer in 2009. Since September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month, MTM chronicled Donna’s 31 month journey from diagnosis to The End. One month was represented as one day on MTM’s blog.

Imagine this Mother, who physically lost her daughter, then rehashing it on paper to bring awareness to regular chumps like us. She sat down everyday to write the installments. This was not something she had prearranged. She took time out from her family EVERYDAY to relive the agony so she could share it with us. That fact alone astounds me.

She writes with in-your-face reality, because that’s how she lived this story. She is open, honest, and beautiful. She has changed my life by allowing me to know Donna. I woke up daily in September looking forward to the day’s installment-even though I knew how the story ended. But the story hasn’t ended. That’s the most beautiful part of this. By sharing this with all of her readers, MTM has introduced her beautiful little girl to thousands of people. And those thousands of people have done what I’m doing- sharing Donna with even more people.

It’s painful, emotional and difficult at times to read. But it’s also hopeful, silly and uplifting. I cannot encourage people enough to go read this story. Even if it’s close to home- the message is the important thing. I won’t give details away, as this is not my story to tell. All I can do is poke, prod and ride your ass until you go read this. I have her blog linked on the side of my page, and also copied the direct link to Donna’s Cancer Story at the bottom here. So grab your Kleenex, and find a nice quiet corner, and go meet a wonderful, brave, wise little girl named Donna. You will be a better person for doing so.

That is all for now.

http://www.chicagonow.com/mary-tyler-mom/donnas-cancer-story-2/

I’ll be the MILF since I don’t qualify for the Cheerleading squad…..

Ok. In a few hours, I have to go to school. MY school. I’m not being called into the Jr High for any shenanigans my kids caused (Thank God). But I do feel kind of the same trepidation that a trip to the principal’s office inspires. I’m 34. I know damn well that I won’t be the oldest student in school, but also know that I damn sure won’t be the youngest. I’m confident in myself enough to know that I want this BADLY, and will try my very hardest not to fuck it up. But I still worry about actually fucking it up. I need to find a part-time job, as my commute to school is 30 miles one way- so I at least need gas money and cigarettes. (Yes, I smoke-I like to smoke. I want to quit, but I like to smoke more than I want to quit-blog for different time). I have a nursing degree already, and now I am returning for a Health Care Management degree. Since I am in the same field, a lot of my previous classes transferred, and some that didn’t are similar enough to ones I have already taken. So I am not necessarily worried about the material, or studying. I’m kind of a smart cookie (and smart ass), so I’ll do ok. It’s the time management thing that concerns me. I have wonderful family that will help with the boys, but still- we have football games and basketball games and supper and laundry and studying and homework for the boys and all the rest of the shit that day-to-day brings. I know there are bazillions of women who do this shit all the time, and I consider myself one who has in the past, also. But, I’m older this time.

I really am super excited about this. I know all the doors this will open for me, career-wise. I’ve been nursing in clinical settings for over 10 years. I had a very small taste of management roles in my last job, and found that I enjoyed it. And, let’s be honest here- the $$$$ will be DOPE. I figure by the time I get done with this, and find a good job and get settled in it- Brady will be about ready for college. Then Reese will be the next year. And unless I start shooting them up with steroids and forcing protein shakes down their throats, there probably won’t be many major sports scholarships available. And academic scholarships? Let’s not be silly.

Healthcare is one of the sure-fire career paths in this crazy world. People will always, unfortunately, get sick. Plus, I feel like I’m pretty good at nursing, and dealing with people. I love people. People entrance me. Crazy people, sick people, normal people, freaky people, quiet people- everybody. I can handle blood, puke, shit, and most bodily fluids. Except lung fluids. I don’t know why. In nursing school, I took care of a nursing home patient with a tracheotomy. Cleaning that was literally one of the worst things I have ever encountered, and I have seen some sick, disgusting stuff.  But, anyway- my point is that I have done my time in the clinical world of nursing, in the trenches, elbows deep in puke, and feel like, maybe, a desk job would be a welcome change.

So my journey for this world starts in a little over a week. Today I get to go order my books, get my little student ID card (YAY for 15% discounts at the mall!), finalize my schedule and meet the poor instructors who get to teach my crazy ass. I really do feel like the little kid who is so excited to start school that he can’t sleep at night. I’m counting down the days on the calendar, and tell my boys everyday “I’M GOING TO SCHOOL IN A WEEK! GO MOM!”. So if my blogs turn to ramblings about being tired and studying and pulling my hair out and asking for help with math (because I absolutely HATE math)- this is the reason why.

That is all for now.